I seem to be thinking about time a lot lately. Feeling old, nostalgic, wondering about some of the choices I have made. For so long I was driven. Driven to succeed. Complete the next goal, move on to the next step. Then all the goals seemed complete and it was okay just to glide for a while. Live, Breathe.
But now I find myself wondering what the next goal is? Is there really more to achieve and to strive for, or is this really as good as it gets? Not that now is bad, far from it. Life is good. But I wonder is it healthy and realistic to always want more even though I don’t really need it. Or am I best to accept and embrace what I have. Accepting that this may be as good as it gets, knowing that in some way no matter how hard I try time always wins?
For a long time work was a goal and a destination in and of itself something that defined me. Now it is not, it is simply a way to allow me to live.
While I live, I love and that is the biggest blessing in my life. But along with great love I have been exposed to many broken people. Some are broken in the ways that the trials of life break us, allowing us to grow and become something stronger than before. Others are broken on a more fundamental level.
I wonder am I too broken? The answer is most definitely yes, but the bigger question is will I become something stronger, better? Or will I simply stay …. broken.